Yesterday I went into a Restaurant for a few beers with a friend.
It happened to be a family owned business that has been in operation for roughly give or take 30 years.
While I was watching TV and sipping a beer, a White Male sits in front of me. He wasn’t directly in the line of my site but within a second or two he perks up, spins around and says “I’m sorry. Am I in your way? Do you want me to move?”
My initial response was “No! I can see. You’re good!” He double checked by saying “Are you sure? I can move!”
So I reassured him that I could see perfectly fine and I thanked him.
Now that doesn’t seem like a problematic story and it wasn’t. But what happened next is where the problem lies. I thought to myself Wow! This is not normal! It’s “So Unusual” for me, a Latino Male of Mexican and Spanish Descent, to encounter a White Male be so apologetic and concerned about a human being that fits my profile.
My mind automatically fixated on the current events related to the protests, memes and the calls to end the divides that have plagued this country for so long based on race.
So why is it so Unusual? Is it me? Am I messed up for thinking that he wouldn’t be a decent human being to me? Or was it something about him doing what he did that I have not experienced much before? Why am I questioning his actions? This is a really good question, even for myself.
So, why do I not just see him as a human being just being courteous rather than him being a White Male providing an unusual experience? When I thought about it further, I came to the conclusion that it’s because I have rarely experienced those kind of actions from a Caucasian Person toward a non-Caucasian Person.
That is the unusual part! It’s probably not so unusual to his wife, daughter or son, that is if he has them. It’s probably not so unusual to the White People reading this Blog. But we definitely have to admit that the unusualness lies with those of us who are not White because for so long, we have experienced a sense of disrespect for not being so. And that is what makes this behavior so unusual.
I had already said he wasn’t in the way. And he wasn’t! I wasn’t just saying that as I might have said previously to just avoid conflict. So he knew he wasn’t in the way but his response felt like he needed to offer an apology to me for some reason. When I thought on it greater, it dawned on my that this apology wasn’t about the television at all but about something greater. That is what led me to think that change is actually possible.
What I mean by this is that for so often White America has acted on impulses that don’t take into account it’s impact on other Americans and in a very self-serving manner they have ignored outcomes that have exacted great cost on People of Color, Immigrants, and the Indigenous. And now it seems that there is finally an air of self-reflection that has surfaced in these last few weeks.
Why did it take the snuffing out of a life of one more Black Person [Rest In Power George Floyd] for that self-reflection of American Race Relations to occur? Why did this not happen with Trayvon Martin? Why did this not happen with the Tulsa Race Massacre? Why did this not happen with the Emancipation Proclamation? Why not at Wounded Knee?
It’s a great awakening! What we have seen as negative is now actually the positive. People have been lambasting the protestors as bad because they aren’t considerate of others but the protests reflect the populations unwillingness to accept everything “as is” as good. People have gotten to a boiling point where they feel they have nothing to lose by protecting themselves and their families by tearing down the structure that has oppressed them for too long. This point has revealed to those that benefit from the system that the threat isn’t in the color of skin or the culture we keep but in the potential retaliation that comes from no longer holding back that which could destroy the privilege that has been wielded without thought, care or concern that now could be ripped from them. That results in the need to to honor whether it is genuine or not the source of this privilege in order to maintain it.
As this Age of Aquarius ushers in a new way of thinking, the change will come, it appears, with a locus requiring us to move from a focus on race to a focus on privilege, which highlights power and that is where we need to change things at the level of power. Once you start changing belief systems and redistributing power you will have a more functional society that is not just dictated by a handful of people.
This apologetic and concerned human took himself out of the position of power of being a Privileged White Male, which made him see others in a different light and act differently when he could have just sat there and did nothing.
STAFF AUTHOR: Anthony Alvarez is just a human being struggling through life and trying to make the best of it. He is an IT Major and Political Science Minor at the Community College of Denver and Emily Griffith Technical College in Denver, Colorado.
STAFF EDITOR: Dr. Brian N. Hewlett is a Sociologist of Race & Ethnic Relations and a Social Psychologist who Co-Founded the Shroom Garden Universe to assist in the exploration of the human mind and social consciousness. He teaches at multiple institutions of higher learning in the Denver, Colorado area and currently serves as the Pre-Production Unit Director of the forthcoming Hallowed Harmony TellUrVision Comedy Series that prominently features Minnesota Activists as protagonists working to alter the city’s profit over people motive.